The United States Postal Service is dumb.

Why do they constantly leave my packages slumped beside our dusty old garbage can in front of the basement door? No one lives in the basement! I may sound like a grouch, but Oscar's name does not appear anywhere on these packages. If they have trouble getting someone to answer, U.P.S. will actually leave the package with a next door neighbor. The Post Office, however, leaves it on top of the garbage. Classy. I'm finding it hard to believe that there's only one lowly mail carrier who's been treating all my deliveries like common rubbish. But this has been happening for years, now. Do they all need in-service training to help decipher the difference between a mail box, a mail slot and a garbage can? Ugh.
Okay, I'm done.